relations

She took her cell, from the table and went to her room.It was 2 pm, and normally she would have felt of taking a nap by this time, but today was different.She checked the phone. It was on ringing mode.She checked the volume. It was maximum.so everything seemed prepared.she took the newspaper and started scanning the pages.every now and then, she kept peeping at the cell, as if her sight would make it ring.But that didnt happen. She again checked the phone, it was working, showing full signal.battery was fully charged.Nothing could be wrong, barring the call.She looked at the watch, it was 2.30.Half an hour had seemed like ages today. she kept the newspaper aside having had already scanned it 10 times within last half an hour.suddenly a brilliant idea appeared to her.she went to the almirah and took out the bundle of photo albums. she came back to her bed and started scanning them one by one.unlike the newspaper she was very religious in scanning the album, with zero probability of missing out any pic.she had repeated this exercise 1000 times but still it made her smile, everytime just like the first time. memories are yours, and no one can ever snatch them from you no matter whatever means one employs."its hard to see"
She watched him sitting in front of her, and savouring his lunch, as if that was his only objective in this earth, unaware of all the hassles and tumults of the outside world.But somehow she always cherished this sight.
“Knock knock”, she heard the door opening.
She jumped out of the bed.
She had fallen asleep, not sure when.
Immediately, she checked the phone, it showed no missed calls.
She checked the time.
It was 5.30 pm.
She had slept for 3 hours.
Sheetal had come.
“Hi mummy,” Sheetal said with a smile.
“Hi, how was your day,” she asked.
“Tiring, very tiring,” sheetal replied while letting her body fall on the bed before her.
“I will get you some water,” she said and made a move.
“Thanks mom, and by the way, akash called in the afternoon, he had reached there safely and on time.”, sheetal said.
She felt relieved but not very sure why she didn’t felt happier from inside.
May be she was expecting a call for her too.
She nudged off the thought with a smile and proceeded towards the kitchen.
“He will call me when free from office stuffs.
He must be so busy for giving a long call and I am fussing about the personal calls.
He is fine and that is enough for me.”, She kept circling around her thoughts while performing the daily chores.
But somehow she still wished if only he could have called her.
That night the dinner was quite silent.
Olny two of them.
Sheetal tried to hit some topics here and there but in vain.
Both were missing akash dearly.
It was the first time he was out on an assignment after marriage so was even more difficult for sheetal.
It was already 11, with heavy legs she moved towards her room, adueing good night to sheetal when se heard her phone ringing.
It was definitely akash.
She knew it.
Enthusiastically she picked up the phone.
Yes, it was akash.
“Hi mom, how are you.”, she heard his voice.
“I am fine akku, how are you, when did you reach, how was the flight..”,
“Hey wait wait mom, everything is fine here I already told sheetal about everything, you don’t worry and take proper rest.”
She found her flurry of questions interrupted.
“Yes, I got my eye sight checked..”
“Hey sorry mom, actually I am in a kind of hurry, is sheetal around there, I cannot reach her phone.”
“ya, wait for a second, sheetal!! ” she called
“Akash here”.
Sheetal came running and almost snatched the phone from her hand.
She knew it was her time to move back.
“May be I would talk after sheetal, I have to tell him so many things,” she thought to herself and waited for her time, which actually never came.
“You want to talk to mom?, she is here.”
She heard sheetal whispering.
She couldn’t here what akash said but saw sheetal disconnecting the phone.

She started for the bedroom.
She knew the night was going to be long, and indeed it was.
There were no calls further that night, no further photo album sessions, just staring in the deep abyss, as if assimilating his entire life in those two eyes.
Next day was Sunday, and she knew sheetal wont be going to office.
Her sleep got interrupted by the knock at the door.
The maid was here.
“Akash babu ka phone hai,” she announced.
“Sheetal uthi nhin kya, unko do”, she replied politely.
“madam toh kab kee uth gayee, but akash babu aapko pooch rahe hain,” she said while handling her the phone.
She couldn’t believe her ears, but whatever it was, se felt the tinge of happiness mixed with emotions surging out from her heart through her eyes.
“Good morning mom,” she heard him saying just the way he used to say few years back.
“Sorry kal meeting mein jana thha toh baat nahin kar paya,
Kal maine Sheetal se baat kar lee hai, aap dono ka passport visa ke liye agent lene aa jaega
Main aap logo ke bina nahin rah sakta.
As she heard him she couldnt but but feel her moist eyes.
“haan aap kal eyetest kee baat kar rahi thhi?,” he asked.
“Haan beta….”
Then started a conversation that went on for ever, atleast she felt so.
Standing behind the doors, sheetal smiled as she saw her talking on phone.
“I wont let her miss him, atleast till the time we don’t go there,” she said to herself and moved out.

Keep running…….

I did like RDB just like most of us but the reason might have taken a deviation from the barometer of normality. I saw myself right there on the screen in the veils of Karan.
We had things in common. Apart from the pleasant side, we both bore the darker sides of our life which both of us couldn’t manage to shed despite all the hassles and contend.
He is dysphoric, or rather say unsatiated over everything, ever quetching and somehow wants to run away from everything not realizing that what he wants to run away from, are the part of his very own life. He accepted living life as a coward same as I often end up doing in my life.
Unfortunately, an extremum tragedy was needed to get him into the right track and ignite the rather subdued spark which otherwise, always existed in him in a dormant state. Finally he had to shed the veil of cowardliness and accept the reality right on its face for the most distressful truth of his life. He does what he feels could be the most potent and executable end to his afflictive realities.
He might not have lived his life happily but did had a felicitous end with the ones he loved most.
For me, right now I dare not touch my darker side, as it gets difficult getting out of it, once you have entered.
Well hopefully I might not need such a bang to wake my senses.Someday I might realize that running might not be the best solution for everything. You do need to stand and face the realities for you as none other would take pains on your behalf. But till then, keep running……

Questions…..

She was God gifted.
Gifted with questions.
Lots of questions that constantly shattered her soul right from the moment she gained her senses.
Why her mother, the most loving person she knew, was constantly beaten up by her father?
Why the father, couldn’t walk properly whenever he came back at nights?
Why her grandmother felt depressed at her sight?
Why her mother used to cry daily hiding her in her bosom?
The list never ended, in fact, it kept on increasing with her age.


Why she was made to dress differently whenever those people visited her house
Why did they kept staring at her?


That day, she was happy, may be after a long time.
She had new dresses and a celebration at home, but who were the guests?
Where was she supposed to go?
This time she asked her mother.
Mother could only cry in response, she felt her questions made her cry.
She never asked her again.
Where was she going with those people?
Why was she leaving her mother and why did she let her go?
Who was the man she was sleeping with?
Why was he beating her up?
Why was he tearing her clothes?
What was he doing with her, why wasn’t her mother around to save her?
She kept sobbing whole night.
Something bad had happened last night, but what was it?
At night she saw the man again, walking just like her father.
Are they all supposed to walk like this at night?
She was again beaten up just like her mother, by her father.
So finally she was getting answers.
She had replaced her mother and the man, had replaced her father.
So now she was waiting for her replacement.
NO, there wont be her replacement, she decided.
She wont let the expected, to be wrestling with questions.
She made a firm decision in her mind, and started waiting for herself, but she knew, this time her life would be different.
But how? This was the latest one, and she knew, she was the only one to answer it.

Loss

Survival be the natural instinct, nevertheless hope idealizes the taper flaring itself burning in the anguish and dread of dashing hopes.
My cerebrations do appeared quite philosophical, luckily a phenomenon occurring rarely.
I lighted my cigarratte, wishing to exhale the fear out with it's smoke.
Another instance of elements of hope driving us and our quessing.
I took out the envelope from my jacket.
The wedding invitation read,
Anumita
Weds
Suraj.
I smiled, not sure at what, but I did.
These years had definitely made me less assailable and simultaneously complacent over things that once seemed so crucial.
I looked around.
Everything seemed so familiar.

All of them are here,The bright red sun trading with the moon for its place, the infinitely stretching sea as calm as ever. The moist and the furious wind so much a trademark of Mumbai, struggling hard, on the battleground, my head, trying to blow away the hairs, but the military cut proved that a daunting and may be a boring task even.
Nothing seemed to have changed over these five years for them.
Except for a small intruder, who was now invading our territory.
A small girl, not more than 8 years in her white frock, occupied the throne, which once marked the occupancy of Anu.
Her long hairs very soon proved a healthy war front for the wind and the success was soon visible with her hair blowing as wild as possible.
Her mannerism looked familiar, her face too.
I looked at my watch, already, 30 minutes passed 6,
It was always a foolish idea, but hope again drove my senses.
I looked around for the girl' escorts.
There were none.
"hi, I am sunny, you alone here?", I asked her
she turned back, "yes, do you mind my sitting here alone.?",she asked with a tint of arrogance that made me smile.
Smiled I, again as she looked even more familiar.
"I am sorry, I didn't mean it, actually I came back to Mumbai after a long time.
I used to come her during my college days.", I replied rather politely.
"Ok, so where did you go?" she asked.
"Well I was in Singapore for last 5 years, actually its very far…."
"I know, I am not that ignorant,
why did you go?"
well that was rather blunt.
"For studies and work," I still replied.
"Ok, so why you came back?," she asked after a brief pause.
"well because I like my country a lot, especially Mumbai," I said smilingly with a sense of patriotism.
"Still you left it," she sighed.
There was silence again.
I again took out the wedding card, it dated 5 july 2003.
I looked at my watch again, it was already 7 pm.
There was no point in waiting back but I was rather bewildered by the young character.
Present.
"So, sunny, what are you doing here?", she asked as bluntly as ever.
"Well, I am here to meet my friend," I replied.
"Your girlfriend right?", she was definitely different then other kids.
"No, actually no more," I said.
"its ok, as it is I am not interested in you, so no issues with me."
this one took me right by my throat and I had to swallow my saliva to catch my breath
"I mean, she already got married, ",i replied."she got married, two years back. actually it was my fault. more interested in career and lucratives there.she waited patiently for three years, she could have waited for eternity, i knew but for her only guardian, her old grandmother wait no more was possible." i kept murmering and to my surprise she the younger one appeared quite patient in listening."So why are you here, and if i dare ask again, alone?,"she smiled, i think for the first time in the evening. "i used to come here regularly with my sister. she never told why she came here.""she didnt come today?""She died, 6 months back in a car accident, along with my brother in law.and if you ask, why still i am coming here, then sorry, i dont have an answer for it, as even i dont know why i keep coming here."sadness filled her voice, as she opened her heart out."i am sorry, your family must have felt terrible" could i say only this?, "i dont have a family, she was my only family. We lived with our grandmother, who died, a month after anu's marriage. now i live in an orphanage."lightening struck inside me.i immediately knew who she was and also why anu wasnt here. she was anu's sister sonu.tears gushed down my eyes, and the lightening seemed to have struck right at my heart.she didnt replied to my mails, now i know why.she always was here for me, but i was never.hope always bought her here and the same hope bought me here,"I know why anu used to come here.Now i even know why i am here.and sonu, why you are here, even that i know",Surprise filled her face as she heard her name "I am the one, who was to be here. i am sorry anu.i am sorry sonu. please forgive me for being late"i immediately got up."You no more are an orphan sonu.i very well know what drove me here. from now onwards i am your father."i kept murmering, though with high intensity."but i dont want to go away to another country", she said."Neither do I, once i did so, and lost everything. cant do it again.for the search of success, you never know what you could lose."i kept murmering, holding her hand and walking,towards her orphanage.i have to get her released from there.but the next task was a bit bigger. searching a job in my own country.

Voluntary ticket for expulsion

This is what we are looking for as new bees in the software industry.
A good onsite opportunity or even better a permanent job abroad, then let it be even in some even more underdeveloped or under privileged countries than India.
A visa is a an assurance to fame and dream come true for the entire family and persons associated with the individual but the truth beyond the borders unfolds an entirely different and sometimes horrifying story inexplicable beyond imagination.

The moment we moved out of college, and got into one of the MNC’s the race had just begun.
The prize was the ticket out of the country, not knowing that some of us might even end up moving backward in their careers rather than ahead and some of my friends who actually managed to move ahead are definitely some lucky mascots.
The incidents unfolding below are live experiences and not fiction of imagination, and any relationship with living or dead is highly solicited.
My role just limits to penning down them may be just for your own entertainment coz I don’t consider myself legitimate enough to force thoughts in anyone’s mind.

Some days back, there was some small news in a local newspaper about the crime committed by an Indian girl (atleast crime from this country’s standards, for which she got duly convicted)who was in Singapore with the school group expecting a time of the lifetime (well she definitely had one).
The girl was in this super mall, one of the most recognized in not only Singapore, but back home India as well. While playing around with friends, she suddenly took one article and started running with friends following, not knowing when she landed beyond the doors, and caused the security alarm shouting aloud.
Soon she was caught by security and without any arguments handed over to police not withstanding any arguments or pleas from the entire tour staff who were in Singapore for a so called goodwill tour. Finally the young girl had to spend three days and three nights in lockup till her father came from India, paid the fine and managed to got her daughter out, but not without her passport being stamped “convicted” which the local authority wanted to present as an example to others.
Finally, the girl might not understand the implications of the same but she definitely knows the horror she underwent in those three days and nights and the final surprise, was all these for a small article of merely 8 SGD worth. Well, this news didn’t made highlights and would never make as well.
Well this was the first view of city, when one move inside the corporate office he encounters a very different kind of so called professionalism, where a guy is never expected to be growing out of his school disciplined life.
Imagine yourself standing in rows daily with your colleagues, for 8 am prayer before starting work. Once the work is started you are not supposed to even whisper to you neighbor leave about cracking jokes with them. People often end up their first month without even bothering to know the name of their neighbor unless and until it is officially communicated to them through mails.
If you happen to work late for deliverables with the entire team, which is quite common in our industry, please do not expect your colleagues of ordering dinner for you even if they have decided on having a pizza party in the office, coz that party would be strictly meant for the bunch of colleagues in which you just don’t figure,.
The level of professionalism??, even if you happened to work till 4 am, you will have to report back in the office by 8 am for the morning’s prayer, after which you may take half day or full day’s leave depending on your manager’s approval, and if that guy happens to be one of these, just don’t expect much in that case.
Well every dark cloud does have a silver lining, alteast in the stories it is said so.
So even I was searching for one here during my initial days, and guess what! I did manage to find some. That would follow in the future listings.
Besides, here one common mode of punishment is canning. There are count of cannings for different level of crimes ranging from 3 upto 20 which I am very much sure that not an ordinary person can stand.