My company
Simplicity carries the winsomeness of always making us smile, irrespective of the form of it we are referring to.
Life never misses an opportunity of confronting us with a crossroad where ever possible.
There are options that signify innocence and beauty, while the counters symbolize gains and progression.
Fortunately or unfortunately for me, gains have always overweighed the alternatives. Today standing amidst Changi Airport, I am in the busiest and most industrious part of the world, trying to exercise my professional dart and hoping for the bull's eye.
This thought instils confidence and fills my soul with apprehension. The feeling is pretty similar to a kid's, being lost in the market.
He wants to rush back to his mother while I; wants to rush back to my roots and my comfort zone.
All these happening years of my life have transformed me from a human being to a black box, closed to its surrounding.
Time and again, people have tried to penetrate it, but not with much success.
I have been successful in mystifying my presence; but was that what I wanted?
After 26 years of my life, I am again throwing myself back in oblivion and to unknowns, and pretty unsure now, I am of the factors which drove me to that.
Referring to counters, I just imagine myself sitting on a narrow wooden bench of a tea stall, on my way to my heaven, Nainital and watching the Sun setting behind the distorted hills and sinking deep inside the valley.
This lucky fellow will be sight of someone else's eyes tomorrow sitting on the same bench as I am right now.
I won’t be there, but the things which remain will be the Sun and this bench.
I often wonder, do they talk with each other and if yes, what exactly do they discuss?
If they were as closed as my heart, they would definitely mind me interfering in their privacy.
This thought immediately made me jump off the bench and I started looking at the direction opposite to the Sun.
Is this my overreaction or concern, that makes me withdraw immediately from even the most comforting zones, if I anticipate my unwanted presence; or is it my judgemental nature, that makes me judge others on my barometers of psychology?
"Akele ho kya?", asked the chaaywala.
"Akela?," I further shot the question back to me.
Was I alone? I dont think so,
I am with Sun, this bench and my thoughts talking to both of them.
Alone was I, amidst the airports, MRTS and buses crowded to their capacity but successfully alienating us from each other.
Right here, right now, I have a company.
This thought made me look back confidently at the owner, who didnt seem to be interested in any response, as long as I was paying for his bench with the tea and snacks.
"What about you? You rarely have company here, dont you feel alone?"
I asked him.
"Hum, arre nahin hamara toh ghar yahin peeche hee hai,"
and with his words, rushed his two kids; and in a synchronized motion he lifted both of them in his arms with an aura of satisfaction and eternal bliss in his face. I passed a smile as I always do to kids around me wherever I go.
Yes, these kids are the beautiful souls that add life to this world.
How jealous I felt of the owner, and how much I wished to swap mine position with his, I don’t have words to explain.
Suddenly the emerging darkness, bought my attention back to my earlier company.
The Sun was setting fast now, with a red aura making it look bigger in size.
It gave the impression as if whatever light it glowed the world with, is shrinking back in it.
I turned my focus to bench and it immediately made me melancholy.
Even it was going to be devoid of company just like me.
Somehow I started identifying myself with it; now staring towards each other and trying to invade other's world and privacy.
Since we both were out of options, we decided to bear with each other....
to follow, my interview with the bench..
Life never misses an opportunity of confronting us with a crossroad where ever possible.
There are options that signify innocence and beauty, while the counters symbolize gains and progression.
Fortunately or unfortunately for me, gains have always overweighed the alternatives. Today standing amidst Changi Airport, I am in the busiest and most industrious part of the world, trying to exercise my professional dart and hoping for the bull's eye.
This thought instils confidence and fills my soul with apprehension. The feeling is pretty similar to a kid's, being lost in the market.
He wants to rush back to his mother while I; wants to rush back to my roots and my comfort zone.
All these happening years of my life have transformed me from a human being to a black box, closed to its surrounding.
Time and again, people have tried to penetrate it, but not with much success.
I have been successful in mystifying my presence; but was that what I wanted?
After 26 years of my life, I am again throwing myself back in oblivion and to unknowns, and pretty unsure now, I am of the factors which drove me to that.
Referring to counters, I just imagine myself sitting on a narrow wooden bench of a tea stall, on my way to my heaven, Nainital and watching the Sun setting behind the distorted hills and sinking deep inside the valley.
This lucky fellow will be sight of someone else's eyes tomorrow sitting on the same bench as I am right now.
I won’t be there, but the things which remain will be the Sun and this bench.
I often wonder, do they talk with each other and if yes, what exactly do they discuss?
If they were as closed as my heart, they would definitely mind me interfering in their privacy.
This thought immediately made me jump off the bench and I started looking at the direction opposite to the Sun.
Is this my overreaction or concern, that makes me withdraw immediately from even the most comforting zones, if I anticipate my unwanted presence; or is it my judgemental nature, that makes me judge others on my barometers of psychology?
"Akele ho kya?", asked the chaaywala.
"Akela?," I further shot the question back to me.
Was I alone? I dont think so,
I am with Sun, this bench and my thoughts talking to both of them.
Alone was I, amidst the airports, MRTS and buses crowded to their capacity but successfully alienating us from each other.
Right here, right now, I have a company.
This thought made me look back confidently at the owner, who didnt seem to be interested in any response, as long as I was paying for his bench with the tea and snacks.
"What about you? You rarely have company here, dont you feel alone?"
I asked him.
"Hum, arre nahin hamara toh ghar yahin peeche hee hai,"
and with his words, rushed his two kids; and in a synchronized motion he lifted both of them in his arms with an aura of satisfaction and eternal bliss in his face. I passed a smile as I always do to kids around me wherever I go.
Yes, these kids are the beautiful souls that add life to this world.
How jealous I felt of the owner, and how much I wished to swap mine position with his, I don’t have words to explain.
Suddenly the emerging darkness, bought my attention back to my earlier company.
The Sun was setting fast now, with a red aura making it look bigger in size.
It gave the impression as if whatever light it glowed the world with, is shrinking back in it.
I turned my focus to bench and it immediately made me melancholy.
Even it was going to be devoid of company just like me.
Somehow I started identifying myself with it; now staring towards each other and trying to invade other's world and privacy.
Since we both were out of options, we decided to bear with each other....
to follow, my interview with the bench..
posted by loku_blogs at 8:59 PM
4 Comments:
Loved this post! You have managed to capture your feelings so beautifully .
However I am worried about this part -
'After 26 years of my life, I am again throwing myself back in oblivion and to unknowns, and pretty unsure now, I am of the factors which drove me to that.'
Well I understand what you mean but I am also more or less convinced that even after that ,somewhere deep down you are happy that you are going to do something you have been wanting to do for a very long time . Give yourself the benefit of the doubt and let time do the rest .
Good luck to you:) Having said all that , I will definitely miss you.
Haan to first thing maine comment psot karne ke liye abhi abhi account banay ahai , woh bhi tumahre liye . I liked the post and the way you presented your feelings and apprehensions. I feel all this is bound to happend , You cant stop uncertainties in your life , No matter what . So stand and face the reality and take the best possible route to the future while We are with you. and Together we will face the reality which will definitely be better, I hope. Never feel alone as this is just everybosies perception , For me if you have memories , hopes, expectation , others expectations with you , Somewhere others are waiting for you , remembering you , YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Atleast one i know "PP". anyway keep in touch and forgive me for my BAD english.
Hey You:Profoundly gifted in sensational writing:
Almost all writings I read so far, brought vivid picture of the portrayed. Pretty sensitive and strong senses combined with eloquent writing: A rare but diehard winning combination.
Keep it up. I look forward to more and more from your blog.
I have read all your posts and believe me I do it rarely. You write pretty well and what I liked in all you posts is the way you conclude your writings.
I will wait for "You interview with the bench."
Keep writing.
Cheers!!
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